I want to tell how to reclaim your life with this simple statement; “if it hurts when you do it, then stop it.” Remember life is about making choices of the things you will do and the ones you will not. There are some things you do because you want to please other people. I want to invite you to stop it. For example:
Do not accept calls from people who whenever you receive their calls you become unhappy.
Choose to ignore those calls. Always have a list of your people whom you give priority. Pick their calls or make efforts to call them. If someone calls you and leaves you in low spirit, stop picking their call. It is one of the best decisions you will take in your life because you have only one life. And only you can allow others to annoy you especially on your laptop or phone.
“if it hurts when you do it, then stop it.”
Stop unproductive friendships. A friend should be able to give you something in return. Friendship is as a result of perfect match; where I have weakness, you bring strengths and convert my weaknesses into strength. A great friend should make your weaknesses disappear. Then I can say we are perfect friends. My grandfather told me something which is very important that ‘if you have a friend and don’t know how they benefit from you, run away.’ Because friendship is about give and take. It is about quid-pro-quo.
You need to be able to quantify how much you invest in a given friendship so that if it doesn’t give some benefit or improve you, quit it. If you belong to a peer club and doesn’t improve you, stop it and don’t pay for more membership. You risk becoming a slave of peer pressure.
Remember, if it hurts when you do it, stop it. If the relationship keeps hurting you when you are in, you should exit it. The worst is to meet your ‘friends’ and tell them about all areas of disappointments, and those actions that they do which annoy you, and ensure that people know that when they do them you get hurt. If they continue doing it knowing it hurts you, stop the relationship.
Life is about being happy. If the relationship does not bring the happiness or some sort of support, stop it asap.