Ecclesiastes 1:9 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
You do not become a good Catholic by only receiving the sacrament of baptism. You don’t become a good wife just by marrying in Church. And you don’t become healthy by running a marathon once a year. The secret lies in small effort, done repeatedly. Saying prayer daily. Attending Church often. Participating in Church activities. Jogging daily. And eating healthy daily.
She wanted to change her lifestyle. She wrote three new years resolutions on 5th January 2018. (i) Run 10km weekly. (ii) Go to the gym and workout for two hours. (iii) Stop smoking completely.
In February, she ran 10 kms. However, when she returned all joints were paining. The entire body was aching. She could not walk properly. She tried to do too much in a short time. That is not how personal improvement and career growth is done. You must take it slow but sure. After that run, she spent another three months before putting on her running shoes. She failed on her resolution flat. Success is a result of small actions done repeatedly. That is what productive habbit is all about. Small actions done daily.
The same applies to relationships.
Your wife does not love you because you bought her the most expensive car as a birthday gift. Of course, the gift might be good, but what is most valuable is the consistency. How often do you give her time? How often do you think about the family? How often do you listen to her? Do you give her a listening ear in the evening when all of you return home? Do you just talk about your day without paying attention about how she spent hers? Do you wake up in the morning and greet her before you check on your phone? In the evening before bed, do you continue looking at your phone with a smile and then turn to her with a gloomy face and enter bed even without saying hi and only stretch your hand to your phone to set the alarm on – meaning that the phone is the first thing you check in the morning and the last thing your touch in the evening? It is the small things done consistently that matter. They become our habits. If they are bad habits your marriage is cooked. It is a personal rule, don’t allow a mobile phone or TV get more attention than the people you live with in your home.
Identify your primary focus and set small targets to undertake daily or weekly. Don’t set out to run 10 kms. Start with a target of walking one kilometer weekly. The more frequent the better. Experts say, it takes over 30 days of doing the same thing to create a habbit. Your target is to create a productive habit. I have ideas for you. If your 2019 focus is getting closer to God, make it a habit to say a prayer with your family after dinner. If you have been doing this already, then upgrade. Attend the daily mass at Church. If your focus is deepening your relationship with your partner, identify an area that will help achieve it. Speak about priorities for the following day and make sure to indicate one activity that will be done to grow the family. Keep doing it daily. Make it a habbit.