Luke 13:1- 4 Some people arrived and told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with that of their sacrifices. At this he said to them, ‘Do you suppose these Galileans who suffered like that were greater sinners than any other Galileans? They were not, I tell you. No; but unless you repent you will all perish as they did.
Why does love and trust fly out of the window within just two years of marriage for some couples? What is the secret to a happy and loving marriage? Why are some families happy while others not? What makes a wonderful family?
Following several letters in response to my first article on family titled “accept and carry your own cross”, I have decided to write a book on family. The title of the book is “Magnetic Love: Discover the three secrets to create a spark in your love life.” The book will help the reader to manage healthy relationships and to develop:
- Frank communication for trust and a lasting relationship
- Lovely teasers for intimacy and love again and again and again
- Manage money models to avoid it crawling into your bedroom and spoil your intimacy moods
There is no such a thing as a perfect marriage. The two partners make up a marriage and the way they react to their union makes or breaks it. In 2016, I had traveled to Mbarara for Induction of an NGO Board on the role of the board in risk management. After my session during lunch break, I shared a table with couples. As we had our lunch, I overheard them talk about how they were tired for the afternoon session for a couples retreat they were facilitating. I introduced myself and told them that I am a speaker and have been married for more than eight years at the time. I informed them that I was free for the whole afternoon and would love it to join them for the session. They loved the idea. The evening was fantastic. Later, we divided couples into groups -ladies in their own group; and men alone in groups of four. The task was simple: write a list of top 10 behaviors that you hate in your partner.
The last session featured a counselling session – where the couples met the three of us for an open-up session: the one thing my partner does which I love. And the one thing my partner does, which should be stopped. Before that we had to meet each partner for a story about their relationship. And that is how I got to know many people are in a marriage but living with heavy hearts.
One woman, about 35 years had been in a marriage for 9 years, told us about so much suffering she has endured at the hands of the husband. Despite having wedded in Church and blessed with three children, the husband had eloped with another woman since the last 5 years and now had two children outside the wedlock. But that was not it. He had brought the new catch into their marital home and pushed the real wife out of the home they had built together and brought the new woman to live with them. Can you imagine that! At first, she had resisted, which made the man to visit on her all kinds of psychological torture – being intimate with the second wife in their marital home. The bad thing is that another man had come and claimed the new born of the second woman! And that is how the man was coming back to try to re-ignite his marriage. The woman wondered how to forgive his husband.
How do you counsel a woman like that who has gone through such fire? In Luke 13, we are reminded that suffering is part of life for it does not come because one is a sinner. It comes to both good people and bad people alike. In these 40 days to Easter, may God grant you the strength to endure any suffering and remain stronger. To author a topic in my book, send a WhatsApp on +256782610333, I will revert with the details. Let’s join hands so that we may contribute to good families built on strong foundation of faith and love.
To be continued.