Tool 67 of 104 is to define values for a happy life

“Jesus answered, ‘Go back and tell John what you hear and see; the blind see again, and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and

“Jesus answered, ‘Go back and tell John what you hear and see; the blind see again, and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised to life and the Good News is proclaimed to the poor; and happy is the man who does not lose faith in me, Matthew 11:2-11

I had an opportunity to speak to some couples as part of their marriage preparations at Mbuya Catholic Church. Nothing beats preparation when it comes to life-long commitments like marriage. As Christians, we spend our lifetime preparing for our after death! And our entire youthful time is spent preparing for our adult life.

Are you happy? Are you happy in your marriage? Are you happy in your life?

Many people are not happy because they have not defined what happiness means to them. Before marriage, did you sit down and define the qualities of a happy marriage to you?  Is it having a good car? Living in a nice home? Having children? Making an impact in your community? Sure, you may not define everything. But you can have an idea.

Do not use other people’s marriage life to set standards for your own. Once you start such comparisons, you might be headed for disaster. Some married couples could be living in luxury – a fantastic home, great cars, and good appearances of happiness. Yet in marriage, what you don’t see equally matters. You could find that inside the good house, is a small prison and torture chamber.

As partners, what are your must-haves? Is it your partner’s time?  Do not define your marriage or family happiness based on other people’s realities. Their definition of success could be different from yours.

Some partners do not mind being in a marriage without children, yet for you, this is so critical. Other couples as long as they have a good car to drive, they don’t mind an absentee partner. They don’t care about spending time away from one another. For others, faith matters are not critical. As long as the TV is on, and the car has fuel, that is all that matters.

Different people have different values. As we grow, what we once held dear changes over time. You need to define your family’s happiness based on values built on a strong foundation.

It is now December. You have had the last 11 months preparing for this Christmas. I don’t want any excuses. You deserve to be happy. Invest in yourself this Christmas before you invest in others. No one can pour out from an empty glass. You must first add something in there. To make others happy, invest in yourself first. Go and buy a good dress. Over time I have realized that expensive things last longer and you tend to use them frequently which makes them the best value for money.

Don’t forget to share with your family, friends and neighbors.

Copyright Mustapha Bernabas Mugisa, 2019. All rights reserved. Visit for #winningmindspark insights.

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